Why Serve a Pro Domme?
Why serve a Pro Domme?
Several of the gentlemen whom I play with are active in the kink lifestyle, and lately, a lot of My friends have been wondering why would he pay for sessions with a Professional Dominant, such as Myself, when he’s already going to kink events and could theoretically get it for free?
This is a very common, yet toxic, misconception about the men who do sessions with Professional Dominatrixes: the idea that he has to pay for it because there’s something wrong with him.
This could not be further from the truth! This statement is not only hurtful to the men, but also to Me - it’s suggests that I would spend My precious time and energy on someone undesirable. I am extremely picky with who I play with, and I reject the vast majority of applications who request to serve Me.
Boundaries:
The biggest reason why someone chooses to serve a Pro Domme is because of the clear, healthy boundaries. There is no pressure for any type of relationship escalator - you never have to worry about your Domme falling in love with you and trying to move in with you or become your wife or meet your family. She’s not blowing up your phone or calling you at midnight when she’s having a bad day or her car broke down. Pro Dommes allow you to live out your kinkiest dreams without it disrupting the rest of your life. A very common fear that most men have is that one step towards exploring his kinks, towards unboxing everything that he’s been shoving down for so many years, is going to send him “down the rabbit hole.” He’s afraid that BDSM is going to take over his entire life, and suddenly all of his friends, coworkers, and family will somehow find out that he is kinky, and reject him for it.
When you’re serving a professional, you don’t have to worry about all of that. What happens in the session, stays in the session. She’s not texting you throughout the week or disrupting your busy workday. You can schedule your kink time when it’s convenient for you, so that you can have a healthy balance of personal time to explore your kinks, without it taking over your whole life.
Safety:
When it comes to serving a Professional Dominatrix, you can expect a certain level of skill when it comes to safety. It’s important to note here that any woman could make a profile today that says she’s a Professional Dominatrix, without any real skill or expertise. There are no certifications or governing bodies for Dominatrixes currently (and trust Me, someday I dream of creating a standard or safety certification like that). So it’s important to do some basic vetting when you pick a Pro Domme: make sure her profile was not created yesterday, ask her about her training and education, and keep in mind that you typically get what you pay for - being cheap can put your safety at risk.
*Related article: How to Vet a Pro Domme - https://fetlife.com/Princess_Raven/posts/11522461
Related article: Deposits: How to Not Get Scammed - https://fetlife.com/Princess_Raven/posts/6952012 *
I want to be clear here that I’m not saying that the only way to play safely is with a professional. There are plenty of people who enjoy kink as a hobby instead of a career, who are educated and safe to play with! However, Pro Dommes have the unique position of being able to devote more of their time and energy to BDSM, so they typically have more education and training than the average hobbyist/lifestyle kinkster.
Availability:
One of the biggest differences between a lifestyle Domme and Professional Domme, is that the Pro Domme typically has more availability, because she highly likely does not have to balance her schedule with an office job (assuming that she is established in her career).
One of the top reasons for rejection is lack of time. Many people are familiar with the experience of attending a play party, and asking someone if they would be interested in playing, and receiving the response that they are simply too busy. Or perhaps they asked that person if they’d like to get coffee sometime and discuss exploring BDSM together, and they are told that although the person would be interested in playing with them, they are simply full up on partners right now and don’t have the time in their schedule to take on another submissive.
A Pro Domme can devote the majority of her energy to BDSM, because she no longer has to balance her kinky play time with an office job - she is simply more available to play with more people and explore more kinky adventures.
Accessibility:
Many of you know that I have a dating and relationship coaching company. Most of My clients work one on one with a coach on a weekly basis for about 6 months before achieving their goal of meeting a compatible woman. And that’s only if they’re actually taking the advice. If they’re being obstinate or simply not putting in the effort, then it’s going to take them closer to a year or more.
So what takes so long? I teach a concept known as the Event Bullseye. The short version is that in order to find an organic connection, you need to put in the time and effort of going to a variety of events and being active in the community in order to make genuine connections. This isn’t news to anybody - making friends takes time; we all know that.
Finding deeper connections, such as a play partner or girlfriend, takes even longer. The coaching and advice that Me and My coaches give to you will result in your time and effort being as efficient as possible. But you still have to put in that time and effort.
A Pro Domme will not turn into a girlfriend or wife, but if your goal is to find a play partner to explore your kinks with, this is the fastest and most efficient way. Unlike lifestyle players, Pro Dommes are simply more open to playing with someone who they don’t know well.
A Pro Domme is excited by the prospect of meeting a new person and exploring a variety of kinks. She won’t make you put in the effort as a friend for six months to a year before agreeing to do a single scene with you. She’s also likely into a wider variety of kinks compared to the average lifestyle player, and that’s typically part of why she chose BDSM as her full-time profession. She craves variety and new experiences, which her profession as a Pro Domme provides.
If you’re looking to explore your kinks, and the fastest way with the least amount of risk is going to be serving a Pro Domme.
Even if your long-term goal is to find a girlfriend or wife who wants to Dominate you, then it is still important to get some experience and self knowledge under your belt by exploring your kinks. Dominant women are highly sought after, I’m talking like 1 Domme to 100 submissive men in the dating market - so you’ll have to bring your A-Game, and a big part of that is being the guy who can confidently say that he has experience with submission as opposed to being a complete newbie.
Ask a Pro Domme!
One of the most fulfilling things of My career has been making BDSM more accessible and less intimidating, especially to those who are at the beginning of their kink journey. If you have a question, no matter how silly it may seem, please drop it in the comments below! There are no stupid questions! Really, I mean that. And chances are, I’ve heard it before.
So if there’s anything that you’re curious or wondering about, not sure of - just leave Me a comment below, and I’ll happily answer it, judgment-free!
