When you're just starting to explore kink, it's easy to think you need a fully stocked dungeon, a closet full of leather, or hundreds of dollars in gear. Not true.
BDSM doesn’t have to be expensive or intimidating. In fact, some of the most powerful scenes can happen with just a blindfold and a little imagination.
This guide will walk you through some beginner-friendly gear — plus safe, affordable ways to improvise at home.
Before we talk about tools, let’s be clear: no item replaces communication.
The most important things you need are:
Negotiated limits
A safe word
Mutual respect
All the floggers in the world won’t help if you don’t have trust.
Here are some items that are beginner-approved, budget-friendly, and versatile:
Removes visual input = heightens all other senses
Easy to use and not intimidating
Buy one, or use a soft scarf or sleep mask
Velcro cuffs are safe, easy to remove, and comfy
Bondage tape is a great no-fuss option that sticks to itself, not skin
Avoid metal handcuffs — they can cut circulation or bruise
A light flogger or silicone paddle gives you sensory variety
Great for warm-up or rhythmic play
Always test on your own thigh first to gauge intensity
Pervertables = household items that can be used for kink, such as a wooden spoon, spatula, etc.
Perfect for sensation play and teasing
Combine with blindfolds for extra mystery
Can be used with light bondage or on their own
You probably already have items around the house that can become kink tools:
| Household Item | Kinky Use |
|---|---|
| Silk scarf or tie | Blindfold or light restraint |
| Wooden spoon | Impact play (light tapping!) |
| Ice cube | Temperature play |
| Pillow or cushion | Kneeling support, positioning |
| Satin sheet or towel | Sensory teasing, binding |
Always check that materials are:
Clean and body-safe
Free of sharp edges or toxic coatings
Used with communication and care
Some items that seem “edgy” or cool are actually risky for beginners:
Duct tape (can tear skin)
Zip ties (cut off circulation and are hard to remove)
Gags without a breathing plan (can be unsafe if you’re not trained)
Rope (it's important to learn a proper non-collapsing single column tie and learn about how to prevent wrist drop)
Any bondage that restricts breathing or circulation
Safety is sexy. If you’re ever unsure, skip it — or ask a trusted educator. Princess Raven offers private lessons to both couples and singles, both online and in-person near Boston.
Clean gear before and after use — especially if it touches skin, fluids, or intimate areas
Use unscented, gentle soap or a toy-safe cleaner. Cavicide wipes are great too!
Avoid sharing items like paddles or cuffs between partners without cleaning
Princess Raven offers personalized coaching and sessions that can help you:
Explore tools safely
Learn how to improvise at home
Build confidence and knowledge in a supportive space
You don’t need a dungeon to be kinky. You need curiosity, consent, and a little creativity.
Back to: BDSM & Kink Basics: A Beginner’s Guide