Brief History of BDSM

A Brief History of BDSM Practices

BDSM in some form or another has been around likely as long as human sexuality has – though it hasn’t always been called that. A few highlights in the historical timeline:

Origins of the Terms “Sadism” and “Masochism”: These terms come from literature and psychiatry. Sadism is named after Marquis de Sade, an 18th-century French aristocrat who famously wrote erotica depicting sexual cruelty. Masochism comes from Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, a 19th-century Austrian writer who wrote about enjoying pain (his novel Venus in Furs is a classic about a man who asks to be enslaved by a woman). The mashup term “sadomasochism” was coined by a German psychiatrist, Richard von Krafft-Ebing, in the late 19th century to describe these behaviors as psychological phenomena (6). Back then, these were seen as deviant or pathological. In fact, for much of the 20th century, any interest in S&M was officially classified as a mental disorder by doctors and psychologists (7). It was lumped under terms like “sexual perversion” or “paraphilia.” Only fairly recently (2013’s DSM-5 in psychology, and the ICD-11 in 2019 for the World Health Org) have these classifications been updated to say, essentially, that having BDSM interests is not inherently disordered unless it causes you significant distress or non-consensual harm. Modern psychology recognizes that “most people with atypical sexual interests do not have a mental disorder” and that consensual BDSM can be a healthy expression of sexuality (8). That’s a huge shift from the earlier pathologizing view.

The Leather Subculture (Mid-20th Century): Fast forward to the 1940s-50s: After World War II, a subculture of “leather” emerged, particularly among veterans and motorcyclists (many of whom were gay men) in the U.S. and Europe. These groups fostered an image of hyper-masculinity and often incorporated S&M roleplay, as well as formal codes of protocol and dress (the black leather aesthetic). They formed clubs and networks – a famous one is the Satyrs Motorcycle Club in 1950s LA, or later The Eulenspiegel Society (TES) founded in 1971 in NYC which was one of the first formal S&M education groups. The leather scene really laid the groundwork for today’s BDSM community structures. They hosted underground parties, published newsletters, and established some of the first “safety rules” (even if informal). This is where ideas like using safewords started taking shape and being passed down. By the 1970s, BDSM was still mostly an underground subculture, but it was developing an identity and ethics of its own, particularly in urban centers. There were separate but overlapping evolutions in the gay leather world and the hetero “sadomasochism” world (like the Society of Janus in San Francisco, founded 1974, which was pansexual). Also, the first BDSM manuals and books for a broader audience started to appear around this time.

The 1980s – Public Outreach and SSC: The 1980s saw a bit more openness. Organizers in the community started outreach efforts to dispel the notion that BDSM was just abuse. This is when Safe, Sane, Consensual (SSC) was adopted by groups like GMSMA in 1983 (as I mentioned earlier) as a slogan to unify the community’s values and reassure the public (9). The 1980s also saw BDSM imagery creeping into pop culture (think of music artists in leather, or movies with light bondage themes). Still, it was pretty niche and often seen as scandalous. There was also the shadow of the AIDS crisis – interestingly, BDSM, which doesn’t necessarily involve intercourse, became a way some people could explore sexuality while reducing risk of HIV transmission, which added another dimension to its appeal or at least its practicality in that era.

The Internet Era – 1990s and 2000s: The advent of the internet was a game-changer for BDSM (as it was for many fringe communities). In the 90s, people could suddenly find chat rooms, forums, and websites to learn about kink, anonymously ask questions, and meet others. BDSM went from local munches and secret clubs to global online communities. The term “BDSM” itself, as mentioned, became popular online. Niche interests that were geographically dispersed could now form a little online niche group (like people specifically into, say, medical play or pet play, could find each other). This era also introduced a wave of new writing and research on BDSM, some academic, some how-to guides. BDSM started to be studied more seriously, and non-fiction books by and for kinksters (like SM 101 by Jay Wiseman, The New Topping Book / New Bottoming Book by Easton & Hardy, etc.) spread knowledge. The community also introduced new slogans like RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink, as discussed, coined in late 90s) to refine safety concepts (10).

2010s – Mainstream and “Shades of Grey”: If the internet quietly built the community, the 2010s blew the doors open. The big catalyst was the publication of “Fifty Shades of Grey” (the novel in 2011 and the movie in 2015). Love it or hate it (and trust me, many BDSM practitioners have strong opinions on it), Fifty Shades undeniably brought BDSM into mainstream conversation. Suddenly, a huge segment of the public who had never heard of a “flogger” or “subspace” was curious (or at least aware). Memberships on FetLife (a social network for kinksters) soared, BDSM workshops saw increased attendance, and media outlets ran think-pieces on “this BDSM thing.” Public perception started to shift: from utter stigma to a kind of cautious trendiness. BDSM certainly didn’t become fully accepted overnight, but it was no longer strictly an underground taboo. That said, many long-time BDSM folks cringe at Fifty Shades because it’s a flawed depiction (the relationship in it isn’t a great model of SSC or RACK frankly, with stalkerish vibes and iffy consent portrayal). Nevertheless, it sparked discussions. Around the same time, BDSM imagery became even more popular in fashion and music videos, and dominatrix characters popped up on TV shows. By the late 2010s, it’s not so shocking to hear someone casually mention their kinks on a dating app profile or for late-night talk show hosts to crack jokes that assume the audience knows what a safeword is.

Today: BDSM today sits in a strange place between mainstream and margin. On one hand, surveys suggest a significant minority of people have engaged in or fantasized about BDSM. It’s not extremely rare. On the other hand, there’s still a lot of misunderstanding and some level of social stigma – you might not want to tell your boss or random family members about your spanking fetish. But compared to decades past, BDSM practitioners have more resources and community support than ever. There are conventions (e.g., Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco, DomCon, Fetish Con, Dark Odyssey), educational events at universities (yes, some colleges have BDSM clubs or workshops now), and an increasing recognition that BDSM relationships can be just as loving and valid as vanilla ones. The American legal system still lacks explicit recognition of consensual BDSM, but societally, it’s far more visible. And importantly, the conversation has moved beyond “is BDSM right or wrong?” to more nuanced topics like consent culture, safety education, and inclusivity within kink (for women, LGBTQ, people of color, people with disabilities, etc., who all engage in BDSM too).

Legal Perspectives: Consent vs. Assault in Kink

I wish I could say plainly “BDSM between consenting adults is legal.” That should be the case, logically – adults can consent to all sorts of things. And indeed, most of the time private consensual BDSM is tolerated by law enforcement. However, the legal system often lags social reality, and the issue of consent in relation to physical harm is a thorny one.

The crux: In many jurisdictions, there’s a notion that you cannot legally consent to bodily harm beyond a certain level. This is why someone cannot consent to be killed, for instance, or severely injured – even if they genuinely wanted it, the law may still treat the person inflicting harm as guilty of a crime. How does this apply to BDSM? If two people engage in a scene that leaves injuries (bruises, cuts, etc.), technically one could claim it was assault. Usually no one does, because both participants wanted it. But there have been cases where BDSM activity came to the attention of authorities – often due to a hospital visit, a noisy scene prompting neighbor complaints, or an ex-partner accusing the other out of malice – and the question arises: does consent make it not a crime?

Different countries handle it differently:

United Kingdom: As mentioned earlier, the landmark case is R v Brown (1993) (11). In that case, a group of consenting men were prosecuted for S&M activities. The House of Lords held that consent was not a defense to charges of actual bodily harm. They basically said, outside of sanctioned activities like sports or medical procedures, you can’t consent to someone injuring you. That precedent means theoretically, BDSM is illegal if it causes injury (even minor). In practice, police in the UK don’t go rounding up kinksters, but if a case comes before a court, Brown is the law. It’s why later, the UK government even banned “extreme pornography” including images of consensual BDSM injuries, citing the same rationale (12). There’s been criticism that the Brown ruling is outdated and inconsistent (since, as noted, boxing is fine, tattoos are fine – both cause harm – so why single out BDSM? (13)). But for now, that’s the legal stance there.

United States: The US has no federal law on BDSM specifically. It largely falls under state assault laws. Only a few states have mentioned consent to BDSM in their statutes. For example, as I noted, New Jersey treats mutually consensual fights as lesser offenses (14). In general, mild injury might slide, but serious injury (breaking skin, heavy bleeding, etc.) could potentially lead to assault charges even if consented. Prosecutors have discretion, and cases are rare, but they have happened. One high-profile instance was a man in New York in the 2000s who was convicted when his partner died during breath play (even though she had asked for the extreme choking – the law didn’t care, someone died at his hands). Another was a man in Oklahoma convicted of assault for a consensual cutting scene that left scars. And sometimes, BDSM gets dragged into court in divorce or custody battles, to paint one parent as unfit (like “they do deviant stuff!”). On the flip side, there have been cases where defendants used “it was BDSM roleplay” as a defense to abuse, with varying success. So, it’s murky. As a result, many BDSM folks are quite cautious: they get explicit consent (even written sometimes), avoid extreme injuries, and keep play private. Legally, it’s safer to not leave evidence of harm or to be very sure of your partner’s trust. It’s unfortunate, because ideally the law would recognize a difference between consensual kink vs. domestic violence, but it’s a slow evolution.

Other Countries: I mentioned Germany’s relatively progressive stance (15). Canada similarly had a case in the early 2000s (R. v. J.A.) that ruled you can’t consent to harm in advance (that case also involved the detail of someone consensually rendered unconscious – the court said you can’t consent if you’re unconscious, which complicates things like erotic choking). Australia and others often reference the UK’s Brown case but some have started questioning it. There’s a patchwork globally. Some places in Europe are pretty open (Netherlands, e.g., generally allow it if consensual). In contrast, places with strict morality laws (parts of Asia, Middle East) obviously outlaw anything BDSM entirely, consent or not.

Consent vs Assault: The big takeaway is that from the community’s perspective, the ethical line between BDSM and abuse is crystal clear: it’s consent and negotiation. If all parties agree and follow the rules they set, it’s BDSM; if someone violates consent or intentionally harms beyond what was agreed, it’s abuse. And this ethical stance is what we teach and abide by. As one summary put it, “It is mutual consent that makes a clear legal and ethical distinction between BDSM and such crimes as sexual assault and domestic violence.” (16) (Ethically true; legally the “clear” part is unfortunately not always so clear, but the point stands.) The law, however, may not see the nuance of how enthusiastic or detailed the consent was. It often only sees injuries and a binary of “did you consent or not” – and if harm is beyond a level, they might say “well, legally you can’t consent to that.” This is why the community emphasizes staying within safe limits and also not involving those who can’t consent (minors, animals – absolutely not, and also people severely impaired by drugs/alcohol or mental incapacity – also a no-go). We self-police pretty strongly on those fronts.

In recent years, there is a push (in law articles, etc.) to clarify consent laws to better accommodate BDSM. Some scholars argue for an exception similar to sports: like how two boxers can consent to punch each other, two lovers or friends should be able to consent to spank each other. There’s also education within the legal system improving – like informing law enforcement about what consensual BDSM injuries might look like, so they don’t assume abuse. Still, as a practical matter, anyone doing BDSM has to be aware of the legal landscape. A prudent kinkster might, for example, avoid leaving permanent marks or injuries, both for their partner’s well-being and to not cross that legal grey line. Many also keep their BDSM private largely to avoid any legal misunderstanding (for instance, not emailing someone “I’m going to kidnap and beat you tonight” without tons of context, since that looks bad out of context!).

Public Perception: From Stigma to (Almost) Mainstream

Public views of BDSM have changed significantly over time, but some misconceptions persist. Let’s chart that shift a bit:

Early Perceptions (Pre-21st century): For a long time, BDSM was widely seen as deviant, perverted, or a symptom of mental illness. If someone was into whips and chains, the stereotype was that they had something wrong with them psychologically (a lot of this came from those early psychiatric labels). BDSM practitioners often kept their interests very secret for fear of being ostracized. There was also a strong association of BDSM with the LGBT community, especially gay men (because of the leather culture). Unfortunately, in decades past when homosexuality itself was stigmatized, any sexual subculture like S/M was doubly demonized. I remember older articles basically equating S&M with the worst kind of criminal behavior – seriously, people thought if you’re into S&M, you might escalate to serial killing or something. Pretty absurd, but that’s what ignorance does. BDSM was also sometimes conflated with violence and abuse – not just by courts but by laypeople. They’d hear of a “sex slave” and assume some non-consensual trafficking situation, rather than a negotiated role-play scenario.

Gradual Softening: By the late 90s and early 2000s, thanks to more media representation (often still sensational, but at least visibility), some people started to realize BDSM is out there and not just serial killers. Talk shows might feature a segment on bondage; magazines would run the occasional “kinky sex tips” (usually very tame stuff) which normalized light BDSM for couples. The internet also let BDSM folks share their positive experiences publicly or blog about it. This era still had stigma, but at least BDSM was inching away from the monster-in-the-shadows image.

Fifty Shades and the 2010s Boom: I can’t overstate the impact Fifty Shades had on public awareness. It was like a tipping point. Suddenly, your mom and your co-workers knew the term BDSM (even if their understanding was off). The book presented BDSM in a glossy, romantic-fiction way which was accessible to millions of readers who’d never seek out hardcore erotica. It definitely did perpetuate some stereotypes (mysterious troubled rich man introduces naïve woman to BDSM, etc.), but it also made a lot of people curious rather than judgmental. Around this time, I recall seeing surveys that something like 1 in 5 or 1 in 3 people had tried some BDSM-like activity (if you include mild stuff like tying hands with a scarf). The taboo was eroding to an extent. BDSM went from “only weirdos do that” to “hey, maybe that could spice up our marriage” for some folks. Mainstream retailers even started selling fuzzy handcuffs and blindfolds as novelty gifts. This commercialization had its downsides (the depth and safety knowledge can get lost when it’s a fad), but it certainly brought BDSM out of the shadows. People began to realize that kinky people look like anyone – your neighbor, your colleague, that PTA mom, that church-going couple – they might be hitting a play party on Saturday night but are otherwise normal, happy people.

Present Day: Today, I’d say BDSM is in a similar cultural spot as, say, polyamory or queer identities were maybe 20 years ago: more visible and discussed, but still not fully understood by all. There’s a generation of younger adults who grew up with the internet and probably encountered BDSM content in some form early on. Many have a more accepting attitude, seeing it as just another personal sexual preference. The conversation has moved to things like representation (e.g., the community pushing back on inaccurate media depictions), and cross-overs with other social issues (like ensuring consent lessons from BDSM inform general sexual consent discussions, etc.). We even see BDSM-related concepts like dominant vs. submissive personalities being used in pop psychology or memes. It’s entered pop lexicon. However, plenty of the old stigma remains in pockets. Certain conservative or religious segments still vilify BDSM as immoral or abusive. And sometimes when a crime story involves BDSM, the press jumps on the lurid details and fans those flames of “BDSM leads to death!” For instance, the tragic case of a young man’s murder in Michigan in 2019 that involved cannibalism was sensationalized with the fact he met the guy on a fetish site, which spurred some panic that BDSM = psychotic behavior (the truth is that was a outlier, a murderer who happened to use a fetish meetup – not representative of BDSM community) (17) (18). Thankfully, voices were quick to debunk the idea that BDSM had anything to do with causing that crime, emphasizing that the vast majority of kink is consensual and rooted in trust, nothing like those extreme cases (19) (20).